Unrequited Love

'Unrequited love' sounds kind of old-fashioned, doesn't it?

But it is what I feel right now.

My thoughts continually turn to him. Every song reminds me of his face. I fantasize about us being together. It's an ache that literally hurts my chest. In the hours and days after seeing him, I keep smiling like an idiot.

Even though it was not the 'real-seeing', sometimes he just walked by and I saw him from afar (really afar), sometimes he was sitting on a bench and I was the one who walked by (and quietly admiring him), we never talked, we never smiled to each other, and I wondered if he knew my name.

But my peaceful life of adoring him from distances has changed.

My friends, well, they're not actually my friends in this case, told him that I like him so much.

I was so embarrassed that my cheeks turned red. And he saw that, he saw me running like a headless chicken since I wanted to hide myself from him. But of course, I failed.

He just smiled, since he was so shy, meanwhile I was busy covering my face.

I hate my friends so much that day.

Well, only that day. They're still my friends despite what they've done to me. Look how kindhearted I am.

But since that 'tragedy' happened at the canteen of the pharmacy building, many people saw me too and I really wanted to dig a hole and bury myself there forever.

So, these days, I've been avoiding him.

I don't want to see nor meet him anymore.

If I see him in front of the building that I have classes in, I take the other way to enter.

I don't want him to see me that much because I don't even have the courage to look into his eyes anymore.

Yes, I'm a pathetic girl.

And yes, unrequited love is a bore, and I've got it pretty bad. But for someone that I adore, it's a pleasure to be sad.